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May Wilkerson May Wilkerson

Yes, Amy Poehler Has Done Drugs

Turns out, even highly-successful comedic actors can dabble in drugs in their 20s without going off the rails.

8 Substance

It might come as a shock that not everyone who does drugs in Hollywood is destined to derail their career, rack up multiple DUIs and land themselves on Celebrity Rehab With Dr. Drew. Amy Poehler, 43, has survived her recreational drug use and continued to have a career and a family.

The Amy Poehler? Yes, the comedic goddess, Saturday Night Live alum, producer and star of NBC hit show Parks and Recreation—she of the ”squeaky clean” reputation (according to Radar)—did drugs in her twenties, she reveals in her new memoir, Yes, Please, which hits shelves on October 28.

Twenty-something Poehler reportedly “loved the fast life,” which apparently means she did cocaine. But she did not love the mornings after. “I tried cocaine, which I instantly loved but eventually hated,” she writes in a chapter titled “Obligatory Drug Stories.” “Cocaine is terrific if you want to hang out with people you don’t know very well and play Ping-Pong all night. It’s bad for almost everything else…The day after cocaine is rough.”

The actress also apparently tried ecstasy (which the kids these days call “Molly”). She recalls a “New Year’s Eve party where we all danced and drank water and loved each other.” The next day, however, didn’t go so smoothly (a pattern for Poehler): “I also remember the next day when I thought I had no friends and I was so sad I wanted to sink into the carpet and permanently live there.”

Luckily, Poehler eventually removed herself from the carpet and continued on to a dazzling career in comedy. Now, as a hardworking mother of two sons, she says she can no longer handle the aftermath of drug use, so she abstains. “The next day is the thing I can’t pull off anymore,” she writes. “How do you explain to a 4- and 6-year-old that you can’t play “Rescue Bots” because you have to spend all day in bed eating Cape Cod potato chips and watching The Bicycle Thief?”

Poehler does still use marijuana, but not that often: “I can’t perform, drive or write stoned, and therefore I smoke pot a lot less than I used to.”

And her years of wider drug use were not in vain. Poehler recalls an important lesson she once learned while tripping on mushrooms: “Everyone needs love, never hurt a living thing [and] don’t worry about the choices you make because everything will be fun because life is a closet filled with pool toys.”

Let’s all get this tattooed somewhere on our bodies lest we forget.